Mark Hawthorne approached the bus station, suitcase in hand, with enough money for tuition. “Go to college or don’t come home,” replied his father. He chose college and enrolled at Wake Forest University where he discovered his niche in education.
Not bad for someone who once aspired to be a beach bum.
Dr. Hawthorne currently teaches technical communication in the Writing, Rhetoric, and Technical Communication program. He is well-rounded with a background in Greek, English, and biology. Dr. Hawthorne continued his post-graduate studies at the University of Florida before beginning his career in academia. After working at Jacksonville University and North Carolina State, he moved to Virginia where he began teaching at Madison College. With 36 years under his belt, he admits that he is “one of the ancient ones” at JMU.
Formerly a professor in the TSC major, Dr. Hawthorne is now part of the new WRTC program. Though the combination of the two programs is recent, Dr. Hawthorne has been ready for the merger for years. Referencing an ancient Greek idea, he explains, “A university should be a community of scholars in which we’re all together learning things.” While the merger allows TSC to gain more people, it also provides writing students with a better sense of technology and how it works. He notes the former TSC program had nearly 100 percent job placement. WRTC trains students in their specialized tract so they can become effective communicators.
Dr. Hawthorne’s undergraduate and graduate classes focus on web design and online publication. When time allows, Dr. Hawthorne enjoys teaching new experimental courses. While one new course deals with visualizing and presenting information through charts and pictures, another focuses on communicating unusual spaces. Students are graded on their accomplishments throughout the semester. Brief lectures at the beginning of each week allow students to work at their own pace. In addition to teaching web design, database coding, and risk/time management, Dr. Hawthorne has published four books and numerous articles on Pedagogy, assessment, and the web. Although Dr. Hawthorne engages in scholarly writing, he considers himself a teacher. As Dr. Hawthorne notes, “the students teach me and I write.”
Beyond the classroom, the one attribute that Dr. Hawthorne wants his students to take away is kindness. He is not only a teacher, but also a mentor who seeks to achieve the greater good in society. As the WRTC program aims to prepare its students for “lives of enlightened, global citizenship,” Dr. Hawthorne wishes his students the success and confidence to be themselves. During his spare time, he enjoys working with young individuals struggling with their identity. Dr. Hawthorne believes that “people ought to be proud of who they are and value it.” For his dedication and service, Dr. Hawthorne was honored by JMU with the Distinguished Teacher Award in 2002.
When asked what word he would use to describe himself, Dr. Hawthorne answers, “Curious, that’s why I ended up in this field.” Curiosity has brought him a long way.
I really like the first paragraph using an anecdote. It definitely pulls the reader into the article. I think that you touched upon a lot of points that important in a profile: establishing his credibility(what he has done), talking about what he thinks about the major, and how he teaches and what he likes to teach. The quotes work really well in your paragraphs and I think that closing paragraph is a good way of wrapping everything up. Good job all together.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the first part of your story. It really hooks in the readers. Also the closing part of the one word he'd use to describe himself is awesome. It ended the profile very nicely.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job, there's a few grammatical errors but that's about it.
Hi Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteI loved your profile. From the beginning, you gave us a great idea of what type of person Dr.Hawthorne is and how much of a free spirit he is. You used your quotes really effectively, especially at the end of your profile. All of your quotes show his character and demeanor towards teaching. Good job!
There are only two suggestions besides fixing grammatical errors that I would give you. The first is to explain what TSC is. You mention it a lot and I have no idea what it is. I think people reading for other colleges or non-WRTC students would benefit from knowning what that is. Also, I would avoid using "Dr.Hawthorne" so much, espcially in your third paragraph. You could say "him" or "he" because we know who you're talking about since you did a great job introducing him. Good luck with your second draft!!
It's a good intro. It pulls the reader in quickly.
ReplyDeleteBut it leaves a little too much to the imagination. Why is he at a bus station? Also, the beach bum thing comes out of nowhere.
You are able to incorporate the necessary facts into the piece without losing Dr. Hawthorne's interesting character. It's important that it doesn't become too fact-based or diluted with information.
You did a good job of explaining how a typical class of Dr. Hawthorne's would go. That's interesting.
The conclusion is good too. Although I think you can end on the quote. The last sentence seems unnecessary.
Hi Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteYour profile really takes on a narrative form and is very enjoyable to read. Your quotes give great insight into the character of this professor.
There were a few times I wanted some clarification/details from you like which experimental courses he taught. It would make it easier for a student interested in the major or already in it to find and take his classes. Other than that there were just minor errors.
I found this profile to be highly informative without bombarding us with information.
Great job!
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteThe thing that I noticed about your profile that really works effectively is the structure and format of your ideas. Everything is in a really logical and flowing order leading us from his background to JMU and the WRTC program, and then to his role within the school and his role as a mentor. And what makes it even better are the introduction and conclusion that enclose this. They are short and to the point but most definitely effective; I really like them this length. I also like how the intro shows Mark Hawthorne preparing for a challenge, the body shows his living the challenges and achievements in his life, and finally the conclusion reveals what it is that got him through these challenges and to the point that he is at today.
As for improvements, I would maybe like to see the third paragraph “…formerly a professor....” trimmed down a little bit. While the other paragraphs seem to focus much more on Dr. Hawthorne, this one seems to diverge from that some. Also, since I am not very familiar wit the history of the WRTC major, I was a little confused about the “merger” and TSC major you referenced. Perhaps you could make this paragraph a little more general and geared towards both people who know and don’t know about the major.
Very well written! The little anecdote in the beginning really made me want to read the rest of this. You gave good background on the teacher and where he came from, and also good background about the major and its changes.
ReplyDeleteI was intrigued by the experimental courses he taught and thought that maybe you could include the course number for them just so the reader could look them up if they wanted.
Your ending was also very strong, with a fun tidbit about the teacher. This made me want to take some of his classes! Great profile!
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteI loved your profile! I thought your intro was great, it really set the scene. I thought you did well to follow the formula of a profile, including background information and anecdotes. You did a great job describing Dr. Hawthorne and provided valuable information to potential students interested in his courses.
The only suggestion I really have is to move the information about his published books to the background info paragraph rather than the paragraph with the course info.
Sincerely,
Carly
I really enjoyed reading your profile. Your intro got me interested right away. I liked that you mentioned that he was part of the TC before it merged to become WRTC. I also thought that talking about the experimental courses he tried told a lot about his character.
ReplyDeleteYou also did a great job talking about he character with out losing the overall theme of the profile. Mentioning the award he won shows that he is good at what he does. The quotes you used are great because it shows his personality.
Overall great job!!
I really enjoyed reading your profile. You did a good job of engaging the reader right from the start with your opening line. I liked how you were able to maintain somewhat of a narrative tone throughout the profile.
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job combining personal stories with his professional accomplishments. I think your profile touched on all of the important parts that were discussed in class, and aside from a few grammatical changes it is really good!
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteYour opening paragraph is really strong. It shows what the professor had to go through in order to get where he is today. You did a really good job incorporating what he has done and what he had to go through and what he wants to do. Your profile flows really well! Your use of quotes also supports your piece.
Overall, from your piece you can understand that you really understood your professor and got to know him.
Good Job!
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteAwesome start to the piece. I really enjoyed that and wanted to read more. As the piece progresses there is some cliche. It's obvious he wishes students the best, so I'm not sure that it's necessary. If he has something really unique to say then let his quotes say it. Avoid clunky sentences like the one that starts with "Though the combination of the..." That can easily be cut down. And the commenter name should only say Tim. Sorry.
Hey, you hit the reader pretty quick with exciting information, the follow-up beach bum part could just go in the 1st paragraph in parenthesis or something. From paragraph to paragraph a little more transition would make this interesting and easy to read. The 2nd and 3rd paragraphs seem like they could be flipped. I like the curiosity quote, so much that i fell like it could have been intertwined throughout the piece. Curiosity at the bus stop, in college, teaching, whatever. I don't really know how your interview went but i assume pretty well according to the various other quotes.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you did the introduction by using a story. It's provokes the reader's curiosity without giving too much away about e person. The thing that pulled the profile together was the way it was structured. I like how first there was some background, then what he does now, his thoughts on the WRTC program, and finally a litle about him as a person
ReplyDeleteI like how you used only portions of quotes in places but I think you could also use at least one longer quote. It might let the reader get a better feel for what his personality is like.
Overall I thought it was good and you definitely knew the direction you wanted to take the profile. It made it enjoyable to read because the structure made the article flow easily from paragraph to paragraph.
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous profile! This was quite entertaining, especially your introduction anecdote and the concluding paragraphs...it had great personality.
However, I saw the personality dry up a little bit in the main body of the profile. It was still good, just not as rich as the intro and conclusion.
The use of quotes was great, they both were interesting and added more info for the reader. The transition between the 3rd & 4th paragraphs needs a little work, but other than that there were no technical errors.
Not much needs to be changed on this one, it's so good already! just a little tweaking and it will be perfect :)
Anjerika,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction of Hawthorne, I thought, was really good- it was colorful and really painted the picture without too many words. You made him sound immediately likable and his friendliness shines through the profile.
I did however feel like it was a little on the long side- there are things I would consider condensing or cutting. Also, sometimes you should be a bit more specific, for example: why would his background in Greek, English, and Biology be useful for WRTC? And also, why would scholarly writing make him less inclined to be a teacher?
I liked the ending, but you should consider talking about the award earlier in the paragraph before just pasting it as the last sentence.
Joanmarie
Anjerika!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good profile. I really have nothing bad to say. Everything flowed well and I felt as if I was reading a professional profile that may be in a magazine. The personal anecdotes were nice touches and you added just enough quotes to make it work. Overall, this was a great profile and I really like where you are going with it. Good job!
Spike
LOVED your intro! totally original and drew me in. You introduced us to your interviewee very creatively. Your entire piece seemed to flow smoothly and fluidly, it transitioned from different topics really efficiently which made it easier and more enjoyable to read. I thought your interview was put together very well in a sensible order, and you included just the right amount of personal and academic information. Your conclusion was short and sweet, and made the whole interview end on a great note. Also good job in including the Distinguished Teacher Award! I don't really have much to say but I'm sure your final draft will be a polished version of this great first start.
ReplyDelete